Factually, we spend more number
of waking hours in office than at home.Our comfort and convenience at workplace is therefore, very important. If
I ask you what is the biggest factor for making an office good or bad for you- you
may say facilities,colleagues or even the work.But for me the one factor which
makes life hell or heaven at workplace is, compatibility with the Boss. If you
dislike your spouse, you can stay away from home longer, you can "unfriend" your
social media friends and even stop meeting relatives...but bosses are
unavoidable creatures. They are there
whether you like it or not. They come in many colours and sizes, are found in
both genders and can have many varieties and variations. Some love to preach,
others are DIY bosses, some are invisible at workplace and others love to hang
around in office on weekends and holidays as well.
We all have heard about good bosses (yes they exist!), bad bosses, bosses who made you quit a job, bosses who make you
perform better than your expectations,
bosses you have crush on and bosses you won’t mind pushing from the rooftop .And then, even before you realise it, you too
turn into a boss for many. I am always intrigued by the influence and impact of
this creature called boss on our life and career.
As I joined government service
from the highest induction level of Civil Services, I become a boss of roughly
100 people the day I stepped in my first office. Looking back, I must have been
a funny sight for all those people. Ignorant, inexperienced and too keen to
change the world, I must have entertained the office veterans immensely. Slowly some of them opened up, they started
smiling at my follies, took time to teach me the tricks of work and helped me
become what I am today. Many of my former subordinates with time turn into
friends and they still keep in touch over phone, email , social media etc. It was only now that I realised that as a
boss how I was judged back then. One of
the best farewell gifts I got on my recent transfer from Delhi was when an
almost silent subordinate came to my room and gave me a card saying: “You are a
terrific boss”. I was stunned. A thought that whether he misspelt ''terrible'' with ''terrific'' also crossed my mind .I tried remembering hard my interactions with
him but found nothing much of note. Another one, a serious matter-of-fact guy,
suddenly opened up to me after I shifted to Mumbai. While working with me, we
talked only about work and work related stuff and now that I am no longer his boss,
I realised that he had a human side as well. We can now talk about books, music, food,
life, families and even work. It is funny how work relationships bind you and
mould your interaction. I must have been a fearsome boss to these guys that
only after my presence from the work scene was removed with certainty that they started to talk.
Looking from the other side, I
was fortunate to have mostly good bosses. Correction: Good yet eccentric
bosses. Bosses who talked too fast to understand a word, bosses who talk so
softly that you could barely hear and bosses who would not talk at all. To my credit,
I picked some or the other trait from each one of them... I mimic all of them.
Once my then-current boss asked me if I ever mimic him. I told him that since I
mimic all important people in my life, he should take it as an insult if I
don’t. Much like my relation with my subordinates, my relations with my bosses
also changed color with time. One turned into advisor, someone else a good
friend and well, some remain just good subjects to mimic before friends .
Since the government service is
the only world I have seen, I fail to comprehend the situation at workplace
where your boss is perhaps in some other continent and you get to interact with
him/ her only over phone/ internet. I also do not realise the situation where
you do not work in a hierarchy and have practically “no-boss”. If you ask me,
however irritating be the bosses, it’s good to have them around. Even the bosses
who think at the speed of light and those who behave like babies. They provide
much required entertainment and order in the workplace. And at times, you do
learn a lot even from the worst of the lot.
In Kolkata, back when I had newly joined, I
had a boss who used to roll his cigarettes in his chamber and his standard
response to any file put up to him was: “Won’t you like to see it again carefully?”
And once you assure him that you have already seen the file, he will set out in
a task to find fault with what you have seen, or rather find what you have missed.
He would then, gleefully point out what you have missed in a footnote on page
713 or how a document is not tagged correctly in file. I probably selected maximum nicknames (some
pretty nasty ones) for him. But it was his this irritating habit that made me careful for
life in scrutinising the files .
Yet another boss was a born
teacher. He will write all kind of nonsensical queries of file and when I will, in all sincerity, go to him explaining
the facts , he would patiently listen with a poker face and then say “ I
know that ! I was just checking that you do too” and burst into his amusing
signature laughter. Never realised it then, but it was because of these two
bosses that I learnt the maximum tricks of the trade. This second boss, used to
call me “the argumentative Indian”, for my habit of arguing with him on every brainy idea he had . But the fact that
he let me argue and put across my not-so-brainy counter arguments, made him my
all time favourite boss.
So after a boss who would test my knowledge on
every issue, I landed up with a boss, who right from the beginning “knew that I
know nothing”.A quintessential bureaucrat and therefore an ‘’I”-specialist,
this one made me listen to his great feats in life for hours together. He
showed me how in every way personal or professional I was a failure, while he
at my level was God’s gift to the workplace and well...the world in general.
Working with him greatly enhanced my capacity to tolerate nonsense, it also
taught me the reason why Peter (who exactly was he!) coined his Peter Principle.
Anger and frustration were his two staple emotions. He wanted to be looked as a
benevolent monarch but behaved like an angry bird with most of us . Do whatever
you like, put in as much effort as you please but all you receive is a little
spittle when he was screaming down your face and yes, a few insults to wipe your face with. Thankfully,
in civil service you have a definite date of retirement ...so finally, this
know- all,flaming fury boss superannuated.Then for a short duration, I got a boss who disliked face to face talking.
On the very first day he asked me to create intra-office chat Ids and to be
online for him to pass on instructions. If only he had stayed for long, my
typing speed would have benefited a lot. He also had an annoying habit of
crunching data on every damn thing. You make a casual remark about something
you read in morning newspaper and voila, next you are collecting data on the
subject from all national authorities and research bodies .
After a while, I happen to have a
boss who spoke, looked like and behaved like Jesus Christ. Believe me when I say
that I have never seen a more charismatic, charming and detached from work
person. There were moments when my keen capricornian self disliked his cool
behaviour , especially in the moments of acute work crises , but looking back, it was
pure bliss to have someone, who had a smile on face even when the worst crisis hit us in office and who could be a gracious host to most hostile guests. The best
part about this one was his cool demeanour. Nothing, just nothing, could make
his attention go away from things that matter viz. A good cup of coffee, a crisp cookie, clean
environment, polite speaking and impeccable manners....Work? Incidental, may be, but well that was never in
the list. No shrieking bosses , no jittery subordinates and no competing peers could make him lose his
peace of mind. He probably was the most self actualised person I have seen. With his impeccable taste, amazing wit, charm
and style, this boss taught me to be human even when all around you are losing
cool over mundane work issues.
In a work place, there are always
jokes and sayings about bosses. One significant part of such work-wisdom deals
with women bosses. They are supposed to be jittery, eccentric, crazy and
workaholic. Till very recently, I had
never had a direct woman boss. But I had seen my own bosses fretting about
their lady bosses and cursing their luck. I moved to Mumbai and found myself
with a woman boss. Contrary to what people say (like to believe) about women
bosses, this one is perhaps my most competent boss so far. Dedicated to work,
detached to the power hang-ups of being the big boss(unlike male bosses), no
insecurities of calling on holidays ... she is perhaps
the most approachable and understanding
person I know among work colleagues .
The people who say women turn tyrant and idiotic, lose balance and temper when
given charge of high posts should see her. A delight to work with, a pleasure
to talk to, one feels blessed to find a boss like her. In fact at times I think
that what am I missing ...I mean you are suppose to dislike you boss..right? So
where is that key trait for me to dislike? So far all I see is admirable and inspiring. But wait ....it’s just been about 100 days in this office. Give me a year and I
shall find one eccentricity, one comic angle or god willing, a vice as well.
While writing
this post, I cannot help thinking that many of my present, ex subordinates
would also have a caricature of me and my eccentricities. I can only imagine
how many jokes and saying would be doing round about me and my work style . But
then that is an occupational hazard of being a boss. You have to be half mad
and half eccentric to be a unforgettable
boss. The legendary bosses are either the craziest ones or the most
inspirational ones. No one likes to remember a boring boss. So if an essential
purpose of being a boss is to provide some moments of entertainment and spice
in the office lunch room chats, the boss should be suitably mad and eccentric.
I know, I qualify with distinction.
NOTE: For all the colleagues reading this post, please ignore this as a work of fiction and pretend
you don’t know who I am talking about. Do not recommend this post to any other
colleague / ex-boss of mine. Please remember I might have much more to write
about....the best ( and spiciest) may be yet to come .
